There are times that you may feel like you are out of touch with the world because you believe that marriage is a sacred institution. When you hold to such values, fidelity and loyalty are part of the requirements of marriage, rather than only being a matter of personal preference. Cheaters often treat morality as a matter of personal choice rather than a requirement. When you are dealing with a man or a woman who views morality as a personal preference, while you view it as part of the commitment they made when the two of you married, you may feel that you are arguing with an alien from Mars (or Venus). The differences between the two of you in such circumstances is real. There is not just a communication gap, there is a communication chasm when such differences exist. When they view morality as a personal preference, then ‘truth’ becomes a matter of perspective and is always changing depending on what vantage point they look at the affair from. What is unfair for you becomes fair for the lover, what is wrong for you was the right thing for them. From such a cheater’s mindset, they view it as ‘wrong’ for you to expect them to deny their personal gratification. They believe you are wrong for imposing your morals on them. Arguing with such a person is an exercise in frustration and will leave you feeling and thinking that you are loosing your mind.
They are coming from another world view. Expecting them to fight fair or do what is right is setting yourself up for disappointment. Since they have so twisted their morality, expecting them to do the ‘right thing’ is going to surprise you with a new perspective so left field that you can not imagine. Such persons want NO accountability. Do not expect them to assume responsibility for their actions, since they are sure to disappoint you, if not accuse you of ‘hating’ them by you speaking out against their actions.
You are not loosing your mind, they are the ones that have lost their moral compass. You will need to understand this if you want to continue being in a relationship with them. They can change, although it will take a tenacious pursuit of the truth and plenty of love to bring that change about.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
2 Responses
Post Modern minds are UNBELIEVABLE >..as well as UNBELIEVING!
Zaza,
The post-modern mind is quite a challenge to deal with. In all the attempts to be open-minded, they often create a mental cage that they cannot escape from. It is only ‘truth’ that will set them free. They have to see the truth about what they are doing and what they are creating. Confused minds are unable to think and exercise their free will.