The other day, while watching the news, I once again heard the story about how many Mother’s cheat after Mother’s Day. The story originally ran in 2010. Apparently when news is slow in central Texas and other areas, running two year old news about cheating is a way to raise the number of viewers. The local channel frequently announced sensational teasers about the story through the evening’s programming, suggesting that larger numbers of mother’s cheat. Even that is misleading. What happened was that Ashley Madison, (a cheater’s adultery service) had a uptake in the number of women using their service after a Mother’s Day several years ago. The findings of the applicants announced by Ashley Madison were:
-67 percent identified themselves as stay-at-home moms.
-The average age was 36.
-Over two-thirds had been considering an affair before Mother’s Day.
Such stories make mothers look like sex-crazed people just looking for people to sleep with. It would be one thing if the story was news, or recent, but running a story from two years ago is not newsworthy. I understand that they want viewership, yet they do not understand the mind of cheaters. All cheaters often need are mere hints or suggestions of cheating and their minds ‘go to town’, and start the whole fantasizing cycle. Although the news station may claim that they are being objective, the rehashing of suggestive old news stories just for viewership smacks of sensationalism. The constant reminders or teasers about cheating that pushed the story probably planted more seeds for cheating thoughts, as if there were not enough on television as it is. Their results also indicate that Mother’s Day was merely the trigger for something that they had been planning beforehand. Telling the public repeatedly the various teasers about cheating in many cases may push women to act on things they have been considering already. At least Ashley Madison had the decency to report their findings until after Mother’s Day.
Such findings as reported by AM (and constantly rehashed like summer reruns by my local news) do not tell me that there was an uptake in the number of women cheating. It does tell me that there are a large number of hurting wives. Given the age bracket, they are likely dealing with disappointments in their relationships related to expectations. They may have even had unrealistic expectations, yet the story does not deal with “How to deal with Mother’s Day disappointments”. I am also aware that one of the days with the largest consumption of alcohol in the US is mother’s day. Whether mom is having a nip, or children feel bad about a strained relationship or some other issue, given the large amount of alcohol consumed, there are some painful issues that mother’s day triggers. If as a young mother, you expect flowers, chocolates, loving children, good intimacy and hot sex with your spouse, just because it’s Mother’s Day, you may be disappointed.
You may want to let go of unrealistic expectations. Accept your spouse for who they are, where they are at, and make the most of your relationship. Expecting the fireworks, candles, and excitement is a way of setting yourself up for a let down. Let downs, like other disappointments can be a trigger for affairs or thoughts about having an affair.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
