One way you can tell if you encounter a good meme or catchy ad campaign is that it stays with you for a long time. I still recall the campaign that used to air on television in Houston “It’s 10 pm, do you know where your children are?”
There are times I still hear the serious tone of that question being asked. At the time, it was a way of reminding parents to be responsible. It also brought to mind that they need to know the whereabouts of their children.
I think that it would be good if they re-instituted measures like that one. When parents know where their children are, it reduces their anxieties. I know that I always felt better knowing where my sons were during the time they were growing up.
In a similar manner, if you strayed, it’s important letting your spouse know where you are. You may resist it as being controlling or an invasion of privacy.
Yes, letting them know where you are encroaches on your privacy, yet giving that up goes a long way in reducing the fear and anxiety your spouse experiences. It also shows them that you are worthy of some of their trust.
It reassures them that you care.
When recovering from an affair, it’s not the time for fighting for your privacy. Demanding privacy at this point only increases the tensions they experience. It keeps them in a state of uncertainty.
Letting them know where you are is a small sacrifice during a time when so much is at stake. If you react to your spouse’s demands to know where you are defensively, it makes you look guilty.
This also applies to keeping your phone locked. The more you hide, the more they’ll want to know. Your own actions create a state of distrust.
If you aren’t sure what to do during recovery, consider the video ‘Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery”. It goes into greater detail regarding what actions are needed in the early days of affair recovery.
Knowing what to do helps move your marriage forward. It also reduces the amount of time struggling you and your spouse have to endure. A few sacrifices now can make a big difference in turning things around.
The simple act of letting them know where you are will go a long way in reducing tensions.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
