Not all affairs are the same. Neither are all cheaters the same. I have addressed the connection between affairs and sexual addictions. I have also addressed affairs and various other disorders such as narcissism, and attention deficit disorders. There are also some interesting findings regarding affairs and bipolar disorders, which I will cover in the future. Today I feel the need of addressing affairs and multiple personality disorders. I need to add that although each of these items have been addressed separately, they can overlap and a cheater may have several of these issues at the same time, which is called co-morbidity. This is not the place to explain in depth about the inter-relationship of various diagnoses. You want to know about affairs and how to deal with them.
With multiple personalities, you are dealing with radical changes in the behavior and thinking of the cheater. You may have wondered if you are dealing with more than one person. In the case of multiple personalities, you are. In many cases, those struggling with these issues had early life sexual traumas. The trauma often fragments their personality. Since these traumas occur early in life they are often the victims of abuse and are caught in a twisted web of enjoying the stimulation, yet are repulsed by the circumstances of it. Being caught in such dynamics often breaks off or fragments the core of who they are. In such cases, the person suffering may develop other personalities to protect themselves or break off the undesirable portions of themselves that are associated with darker deeds.
The abusive incident that began the fragmenting may have been accidental or intentional. As sick as it sounds, there are some individuals who actively participated in the intentional breaking down of children in order to create such problem behavior. When done intentionally, there are many mind control techniques and trigger phrases involved. The victim may not be fully conscious of what sets them ‘off’ into darkness, they just feel that something takes over.
What this means is that your cheater may be doing what they do related to programming and mind control that was done to them. They may switch personalities due more to triggers, than to a desire for illicit acts on their part. This means that they are not rejecting you, in such cases, they are executing the programming that was drilled into them.
With help, they can start the process of breaking free of the bondage. They can overcoming the fragmenting and shattering that occurred. They can learn ways of neutralizing the triggers programmed into them. Yelling at them, preaching to them, calling them names, etc. may actually push them deeper into what they are doing rather than pull them out of it. For such reasons, when cheating is tied into such personalities, you have to approach it differently.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
