Having grown up in Pasadena, Texas, the song “Looking for love in all the wrong places” was sung by local performer Johnny Lee at clubs around the area. Although most people were introduced to the song in ‘Urban Cowboy’, its performance in clubs was part of daily life where I grew up.
For many cheaters, ‘Lookin’ for love’ describes what they are doing. They keep looking for something in everyplace but their own home and in their own marriage. When they make up their mind to cheat, they go ‘on the prowl’ to find it. This was not a new phenomena with the country song. Kenny Rogers sang about “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love to Town” years before. Songs like “Love the One Your With” and “Have you got Cheatin’ on Your Mind?” also addressed this mindset of cheaters long before counselors and therapists started dealing with the topic.
Cheaters often find what they are looking for. In many cases, they are looking for someone to share a fantasy with them. At that point, they may say that they are looking for love, when the reality is that they are looking for a playmate. They want a ‘new’ toy. Like a toy, it holds their attention for a while and then they tire of them as well (most affairs last 12-18 months).
They don’t know that love is right there in front of them. The thrill of the chase is mistaken for love. Passion is mistaken for affection. They go looking for love, yet often find ‘trouble’.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
