In going through the ups and downs in the aftermath of an affair, one of the tough spots is the down of discouragement. Discouragement takes away your energy and enthusiasm. It steals away your hope and optimism. You may say that “it sucks”. It really does suck energy, hope and strength away from you. Military leaders have long known the destructive power of discouragement. They know that with discouragement, they often do not have to fire a shot at your enemy. When you are discouraged, you often end up defeating yourself.
One part of discouragement is the ‘catastrophizing’. When this happens, you imagine the worst or assume that what bad things happening now are only going to get worse and last FOREVER. The catastrophizing bends and distorts events. The distortion often involves either the time it will last or how bad things are. When this happens, you will have to accept that your mind is lying to you. Your mind is perverting the truth about what is actually going on. In response to that you may want to imagine an ‘eyewitness news’ television crew covering your situation. In covering your situation, what is the camera showing? What is actually going on? What are the facts? Very often, the facts of the situation do not line up with the exaggerated version. Telling yourself the truth is essential during such times.
It is also important to be thankful for the small things. Besides being thankful, you will need to express gratitude for those things. Thankfulness and gratitude have way of chipping away at discouragement.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
