As you know, affairs are serious. even though Hollywood does its best to put a humorous spin on affairs, the reality is that they hurt. You may even find yourself trying to joke or have a moment of levity about them. When something hurts that much, sometimes you have to do whatever you can, including joking, to reduce the pain. Levity to reduce the level of pain is natural. It is a matter of trying to find a silver lining in the cloud. It also helps you survive the dark times that you are going through.
Where joking about affairs becomes dangerous is when treating them so lightly is seen by cheaters as a ‘green light’ to have an affair. Typically the moral standards of the cheater and society help restrain sleeping around. When the cheater surrounds themselves with media that treats affairs as ‘no big deal’, it will only be a matter of time before they act on their impulses. Although the values of some communities is such that an affair is ‘no big deal’, in other communities and in your home, it is a big deal. When marriage vows are viewed as something as disposable as fast food containers, how committed will the cheater be to you. When marriage commitments are are treated as being flimsy, it will only be a matter of time before the cheater starts valuing their happiness ahead of marriage vows. They want to have fun, they want to be entertained. When all the ‘fun’ couples on TV and in the movies have affairs, they wonder “What would be wrong with me having an affair”.
The television shows making light of marriage and affairs often weaken marital commitments and moral restraints in the name of entertainment. In some ways, the shows provide training in a new version of morality, reinforcing the values and ideals that are often different from your own. You may say that I am over-reacting. I think not. Experience has shown me that being surrounded by friends that are supportive of you and your commitments makes a difference. Associating with winners makes a difference with sports teams. In the same manner, associating with programs that denigrate marriage vows, encourage affairs and hide it behind humor weakens your marriage. If you surrounded yourself with strippers, porn stars and prostitutes, it will impact your marriage and your views on marriage. Who you associate with and what you watch will influence your moral choices. There is a big difference between joking about an affair to reduce your own pain, and surrounding yourself with programming that demeans marriage and encourages affairs all in the name of humorous entertainment.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
