Your spouse may have told you “I have desires” or even “I have needs”. These are true statements, although, many times those desires and needs have been stimulated by outside sources.
You and your spouse have needs. You need to eat, eliminate waste and have sex. Each of these needs are normal and healthy, yet when any one of them becomes too strong or engorged, they become destructive.
You can easily see the effects of over eating. You will also quickly experience the effects of over elimination.
Yet, when it comes to sex, many outside influences seek the overindulgence of this drive to where it becomes destructive as well. Sex is pushed on you and your marriage at an industrial level, both directly or indirectly.
When drives become unnatural, they are unhealthy. One of the problems is that the propaganda that goes with the industrial push for sex is that “you need to act when the urge hits you”.
If you indulge every time the urge hits you or is stimulated, you would be going non-stop. All the ads for viagra, cialis, birth control pills, late night companions and lingerie send messages to “indulge in your desire” each time they are shown.
Add those commercials to the other advertisements and the content of many modern Hollywood products and there is OVER stimulation.
Bear in mind that the government intervened with cigarette companies and hard liquor companies in limiting their advertising, due to their impact.
The advertising led to excessive stimulation in those areas, so government intervened in curbing it. Presently, the stimulation of sex is unrestrained.
Can you imagine the impact that all the sexual oriented advertising is having? Sex is used to sell so much that you as a consumer are given industrial strength stimulation anytime you turn on the radio, cable of television.
Is it any wonder that your spouse is telling you “I have desires” or “I have needs”, when they’re bombarded with such stimulation?
Uncontrolled cell growth which becomes destructive is referred to as ‘a cancer’. Although there are words for such activity at a cellular level, there are few terms for unrestrained stimulation of sexual drives or sexual indulgence.
Sure, there are the terms pervert, nymphomaniac, profligate, letch, or just plain being ‘dirty’. Yet even these shame-based terms have been watered down to where their use no longer has effective stopping power.
They no longer have the shaming power they once had.
Your reluctance to partake in overindulgence may be well grounded. Although it is acceptable to put the overweight on diets, or intervene to stop overuse of elimination, all the fur flies when you attempt restricting the indulgence of sexual appetites.
You and your spouse may need to have some serious conversations about what healthy sex drives look like.
If you want more help in this area, the ebook “Why He Cheats” deals with the role of fantasy, which is by-product of excessive stimulation. Download yours today and start working on undoing the effects of industrial strength stimulation.
Best Regards,
Jeff
