How do you handle “Death Threats to your marriage?” Chances are that you’d know how to handle a death threat to your spouse better than a death threat to your marriage.
There are ways of preparing for death threats to your spouse or yourself. Preparing includes things taking classes known as “Active Shooter Training” .
Such training classes specialize in dealing with threats. With training , you identify high risk situations and ways of neutralizing them.
My best friend, David, often attends these training courses. He trains any chance that comes his way. He knows that when there are death threats, seconds count. With all the training, he instinctively knows ways of handling death threats to him or his spouse. He also deals with those threats in a prompt manner. The longer a threat exists, the greater the danger grows.
The training he goes through enable him to identify, react and deal with threats long before others do. He is prepared for any physical threat.
When it comes to threats to your marriage relationship, you may be totally unprepared. The threats are out there. They’re real and they’re fatal to your marriage.
You may not even know the danger signs of those threats. Not knowing what to look for puts you at a disadvantage. You can be blindsided by the threats to your marriage.
Threats like seductive co-workers, opportunity seeking neighbors, the teenagers with overloaded hormones down the street are easily identified. Then there are the constant poachers. With each leer, dirty joke, wandering hands and suggestive comments, you expand their potential threat.
The sneaky threats disguise themselves as entertainment. These include things like addictive behaviors, romance novels, pornography, and seductive programs on television. These threats work behind the scenes, damaging the trust and security of your marriage.
Since they are ‘entertaining’, you may not see the dangers, until the damage is done. You are too busy being entertained. You miss seeing the destruction being done to your marriage.
Typically, when something is called ‘adult entertainment’ it does not deliver. Adult entertainment does not encourage mature adult behaviors, nor do they truly entertain. If they truly entertained, they would be enjoyed by all parties and would not have to be hidden from public view.
When something you are doing for entertainment requires being hidden, it should raise some red flags.
The sneaky threats exploit the soft, vulnerable parts of your marriage. They often foster fantasies or generate dissatisfaction. Either way, the threat continues growing undisturbed until the damage is done.
There are few training courses in handling death threats to your marriage. You can either strengthen your marriage or improve threat assessments. The “30 Days to Improve Your Marriage” program we offer is one way of reducing the threats to your marriage.
The physical threats are easily identified. The sneaky ones hide. Both threaten the life and security of your marriage.
Best Regards,
Jeff
6 Responses
Great analogy Jeff. In my experience the #1 death threat was social media, particularly facebook, and old flames. My wife’s obsession with propelling herself back to high school and college days through fakebook reconnected her with an ex boyfriend and the death of our marriage ensued. I wish we had training and preparation for those threats in advance, so we could recognize them, put protective measures in place, and respond swiftly and effectively. Oh the pain, suffering and damage to the family unit that could have been avoided. It is depressing.
Untold,
Thank you for your encouraging comment. Social media is a potential death threat. Although society at large sees the danger in terms of bullying, they do not acknowledge the threat to relationships.
Few people saw the potential danger of social networks. I was fortunate to have one of them as a professor back in the 80’s (Uri Reuvini) , long before the internet was a household item. My professor addressed the power of social networks in changing lives for the good or bad back then, and urged caution in using them.
With the internet, many people tap into the power of the social network, and then it ends up destroying their marriages and relationships. Your story is a telling example. Those networks allow re-connection with former chapters of people’s lives. What often ends up happening is that old relationships are reactivated and the old chapters never end, they just recycle. This ends up stunting any kind of progress or moving on. It becomes regressive in its effects.
I don’t think the public ever suspected any potential danger with facebook (or fakebook as you term it). They saw it as a way to keep up with old friends. They didn’t realize that those old friends can trigger old feelings and keep them imprisoned in old relationship dynamics.
Jeff
Well there is a reason they were in your past…. but thanks to facebook, death can come quickly to a relationship that is in need of repair… easy route one might think… get lost in memories that are not always clear or accurate…. I do hate the FB
David,
Facebook definitely has more risks than benefits these days when it comes to relationships. I like your phrase, “get lost in memories that are not always clear or accurate”. There are some people who use facebook as a way of continuing the fantasies of their high school days. It becomes like a perpetual adolescence with all the high drama that goes with it. With facebook, people don’t have to grow old which appeals to many folks out there.
Jeff
Spot on Jeff!
Thank you!