A recent article in “Market Watch” contained the question from a reader, “My cheating husband just inherited $3 million from his father’s estate-should I still divorce him?”
The question caught my attention on several levels. When you ask a money manager or accountant about your personal life, it says a lot about you. Your priority at that point is money. When your priority is money, you make different choices than when your priority is something else.
I suppose she could have taken the same question to her beautician. In that case, physical attractiveness may have been her priority in considering the question of whether she stays or goes.
Who you go to with your questions says a lot about your true priorities. It would have been a whole other matter if she had asked. “I am considering divorcing my cheating husband. What are the financial issues I need to be aware of, since he just inherited $3 million dollars?”
Your word choice says a great deal about you as well. It shows what matters. This woman’s question puts the onus of her divorce decision on the moneyologist, rather than herself. Letting other people make the divorce decision over an affair rather than yourself is being irresponsible.
The irony of avoiding responsibility for divorcing someone based on their irresponsibility in having an affair is striking and verges on comedic.
I often confronted clients when they asked “Should I divorce them?” in pointing out that “It’s not my decision to make. When you make it my decision, you are giving me all the power.”
That often opened the door to discussions on power and avoidance. I doubt that such discussions are going to happen with a moneyologist. You may hear about ‘rights’ and ‘assets’, but not about love, intimacy, hurt or responsibilities.
Perhaps rights and assets are more important to her than love. I shudder in thinking through a marriage based solely on assets. Such a relationship centers on money and money issues. Although I’ve found the German saying I heard when dating , “Geht das Geld aus, fliegt die Liebe zum Fenster raus” (Translation: Where no money is, love flies out the window”. I also know that marriages based solely on money. Even the Beatles said “Money can’t buy me love”
Best Regards,
Jeff
5 Responses
Yes my mother used to say “it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one”
Sorry mom but that’s not actually true ….many of the successful men are used to getting what they want and doing anything they can to get their way
Far better to look for character and self control and a heart that is hungry to learn from God and His Word what life and love actually are all about …including why God set up genders…male and female…..boundaries and what jurisdictions purposes and privelideges are involved for our good….if we are willing to learn
It also has been said “if you marry for money you EARN it!”
I married with loving And learning a lifetime in the Walk of Faith in Jesus Christ
This began well but my husband would not submit to learning about all that Gid would do in his life
It’s hard to walk with someone who chooses to heed the lust of the flesh enflamed by the world and worldly friends
He chose everyone and everything above and before his Saviour and his wife and eventually his children
Deception comes lite by little to steal the heart by stealing time and exposure to ones spouse
Anything or anyone that takes priority over ones relationship with the Lord through personal study and takes time away from the spouse and family will eventually cool the love and the value of them …soon replacements “speak louder” to the heart of the wayward spouse
Apostasy from God leads to dullness of understanding and appreciation for God and for ones spouse
God can reconcile a broken marriage but it is work by Him in the heart of one who is willing to turn away from replacements. And turn back to God and spouse
There are no “God goven” alternatives to the one flesh spouse
Heed the warning : accept no “substitutes”
There. Is one spouse tip death do you part
Others are not only not blessed and equipped to be the spouse but they are missing out on one who is available for them who will not draw someone into defiling themselves with a married person!
Shame on married people for seducing anyone…go home and be thankful for your covenant spouse!
Zaza,
Marrying for money is not the wisest move. There are even more questions about staying married for money. Even more about staying married for money to a cheater.
Oh I’m so sorry ..the keyboard is small and the print even tinier !
I think you can still follow what I was saying😒
True
It’s not money in and of itself according to the Sword of God …but it is the love of it
List of any kind and lack of interest in self governing of desires is destructive beyond what most think
When we married we did not have much at all but when my husband began a new career with no ceiling in sight it blew on the flames of ambition and pride and took his heart away from God and the godly purpose of gain as scriptures direct
It is so true one can gain the whole world and lose the soul
I agree with Paul the apostle in that we need to be able to be thankful s d learn contentment …to be able to be abased and to abound and remain on a steady course of our walk by His wisdom and by care for our spouses and children as well as judging wisely the company we keep and the places we go ….walking with the wise we will be wise but a companion of fools will be diminished …destroyed
Wow it happened again….”Lord” and “lust” two needed corrections
Sorry !ðŸ˜