On July 4th, in America, your attention is focused on the founding fathers and Independence Day. Since they’re put on pedestals you may not associate those influential founders with adultery and extramarital activities.
One of my sons insisted that my July 4th email talk about the founders.
One of the founders who finally admitted to infidelity after being pressured to reveal it, was Alexander Hamilton.
Being the first Secretary of the Treasury, he may have been the first American political figure caught in adultery, but will not be the last.
The founding father relationship I find intriguing is that between Thomas Jefferson and Abigail Adams (the wife of John Adams, who later became President). The two grew close when both were living in Paris as diplomats. They developed a closeness, spending large amounts of time together going to galleries and events with each other.
Although there’s no clear evidence of an affair, there were some oddities. Abigail’s husband, John Adams previously worked closely with Jefferson, yet became bitter rivals. The two often found themselves on opposite sides of many issues.
If my wife was hanging out with another man in Paris, especially my rival, I’d be upset. I understand John’s being upset.
Paris is a romantic city. In such surroundings, it would be easy to fall for someone.
I also know nothing gets a betrayed spouse upset like an affair.
When the relationship between the two men were at their bitterest, Abigail initiated a series of secret correspondence with Jefferson, unbeknownst to her husband.
I can’t say that they had an affair, but, when a wife has secret interactions with a man she spend many hours alone with in Paris, and that man is bitter resented by her husband, it has the appearance of a secretive affair. Even the implication of an affair is damaging to your marriage.
Perhaps John Adam’s rivalry with Jefferson was more about jealousy than political differences. It certainly would explain a lot.
Another oddity was that a major topic of the secret correspondences concerned ‘forgiveness’. There are lines about President Adams forgiving him so their relationship can be “returned to the same state of esteem and respect for him which had so long subsisted”.
I have to wonder what kind of behavior reduces a man’s respect for his fellow man other than adultery. Whatever it was, Jefferson valued his relationship with Adams enough to seek forgiveness.
Thomas Jefferson saw the need for forgiveness as a way of restoring a strained relationship along with improving how others esteemed him. Whether or not an affair happened, something damaged their relationship and needed forgiving.
Forgiveness removes the roadblocks that have been keeping you apart along with tearing down the walls that keep distance between you both. The video “Forgiveness: Stop the pain, Tear down the walls and Remove the Roadblocks” gives you the tools you need in forgiving and opening up new possibilities.
Jefferson knew the importance of relationships and how forgiveness ‘returns’ the closeness that once existed. You can learn how to forgive and start restoring your emotional health. Order your copy today.
Best Regards,
Jeff
