My Relationship Advice to Mrs. Claus

First I want to wish each of you a Merry Christmas. This time of year has its emotional ups and downs. Its’  the time of the year for the most affairs.

It’s also a time of reflection. With that in mind, I have some relationship advice for Mrs. Santa.

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Mrs. Claus,

There are some behaviors in your husband that I need to bring to your attention. As a counselor I see many red flags that concern me.

I know that some people see him as a saint, yet the real Santa has some issues.

First, his voyeuristic tendencies of looking in on people when they are sleeping borders on being a fetish. He obsesses over people and their behavior, to the point of keeping lists.

When people keep lists where they document others behaviors, then rate their behavior  as good or bad behavior is obsessive. When you add his watching them as they sleep, it indicates a serious problems.

Second, his attention seeking lifestyle of wearing a red suit, driving fast and frequent international travel raises another red flag. That kind of attention seeking lifestyle is often seen among narcissists.

It doesn’t surprise me that enjoys being the center of attention and relishes homes filled with pictures and images of himself. With such a high need for attention and high risk lifestyle habits, it’s only be a matter of time before he’s at risk for an affair or worse.

Entering the homes of strange women without escort puts him at high risk for affairs.

There have also been rumors that as he goes driving around, he keeps looking for Ho’s. Cruising for Ho’s is definitely a concern if there’s any truth to that rumor.

Third, he has unhealthy addictions to sweets, milk and tobacco. He goes overboard when he indulges in these substances, which indicates a lack of self-control.

Foods function like drugs, with the substances in them triggering receptors in his brain. There’s a potential danger that with that kind of weak self-control that his impulsivity may spread to other areas of his life as well.

That high consumption of sweets and stimulants combined with high risk situations is dangerous.

Consider that he’s often high on stimulants as he goes driving around at breakneck speeds. When he stops, he breaks into homes of strange women.

If anyone else did this, they’d be in jail. His friends enable his behavior by not arresting him and talking about how good he is. They’re oblivious to his bad habits.

Fast sleighs, being high on stimulants, having a high need for attention coupled with his voyeuristic tendencies and obsessive behaviors puts him at ULTRA high risk for relationship problems.

Fourth, he has a strange habit of having young girls sit in his lap. Once in his lap, he finds some way of asking “Have you been naughty?” It’s only a matter of time before there are accusations or worse.

Mr. Claus’s behavior is not just borderline in appropriate, he has crossed the boundaries of safe conduct. I’m surprised you haven’t told me about an affair happening already.

My advice for you Mrs. Claus is to purchase a copy of the Affair Recovery Workshop. Even if he’s not having an affair, which is unlikely, he is definitely at risk for developing one.

It may also help with the potential identity issues you have as being seen as Mrs. Claus or Mrs. Santa, since you have lost your own  sense of individuality and now have a dangerous codependent relationship with Santa.

I hope that you enjoy the holidays.

Best Regards,

Jeff

 

 

 

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