An old pastor friend of mine often said, “Even rat poison is 98% good oats“. His statement has stuck with me over the years.
It’s opened my eyes to the danger of half-truths. With half truths, you get enough truth to sound plausible. You’re wanting to believe the half-truth keeps you from seeing the dangers of the toxins connected to it.
Half-truths are one of the major tools of propagandists. They tell you enough of what you want to believe to hook you while hiding any poison or dangers. That way you swallow the poison willingly.
One of the dangerous half-truths I recently encountered concerning swinging was “Its a fun and healthy life for confident women.” Would it surprise you that the one saying it was a man luring a woman into the ‘lifestyle’?
If such a statement is true, it would apply to cheating as well. “Is cheating a fun and healthy life for confident women?”
Given the risk of exposure to STD’s this is risky. Currently the risk of STD among Americans is 1 in 4. In other words you have a 25% chance of catching an STD when sleeping around. That doesn’t sound ‘healthy’ to me.
You’ve got better odds of living through the first two round of a game of Russian roulette than you have of keeping your health when sleeping around. Rather than a seducer telling you the real risk, they tell you that sleeping around is ‘healthy fun’.
In terms of emotional health, it’s even more devastating.
To add insult to injury, the seducer added the phrase ‘confident women’. His statement accuses his victim of not having confidence if she doesn’t cheat. This amounts to nothing more than a guilt trip.
Given that you want to come across as confident, healthy and fun loving, his statement appeals to those areas, while hiding the danger. The added guilt is just enough to create self-doubt if you refuse his appeal.
If he were honest, his plea would be akin to a carnival barker encouraging people to come ‘take a chance’ and play his game. His cajoling about having fun playing it and ‘having the confidence’ of being a winner would lure the unsuspecting into his trap.
There’s a reason that carnival barkers are called ‘con-men’ given how they prey on the confidence of the passers by.
If you’ve been taken in by such cons and con-men, chances are you’ve experienced some trauma. In the video “Overcoming Relationship Trauma for Swingers” I address ways of moving past the damage from such traumas.
Hopefully, you’ll recognize dangerous and seductive cons when you encounter them.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
