Have you ever noticed what when you’re surrounded by lies and manipulation all the time, it leaves you confused? At those times, you feel like giving up. You’re not sure what to believe and which version of the truth is the truth.
It’s during those times that moving forward is a struggle. At those times you may think that something is wrong with you.
When you’re dealing with unhealthy behaviors like affairs, love addictions or sex addictions, the assumption that something is wrong with you is common. Although it’s common, it’s misleading.
At those times, you are looking for a quick fix or explanation. Finding something wrong with you is just the easiest explanation at the time. It’s a misleading fix.
Rather than attacking the lies, or the unhealthy behavior, it’s easier attacking yourself. Confronting the real issues involves taking risks.
Yes, you have someone to blame, but it solves nothing! It’s not even honest.
When the cheater is caught up in the ‘affair fog’, they aren’t thinking straight. They are looking for fast gratification of their urges. They don’t consider the consequences of its effects on others.
Cheaters are only able to continue what they’re doing due in large part to the lies. They lie to themselves, they lie to you, they lie to their lover.
The lies are what fuels the affair. It’s no wonder you’re confused by their mixed messages. They themselves are confused by their mixed messages and lies.
When you realize how many lies they are telling, you begin seeing the unhealthy patterns in their lives. Since they are creatures of habit, you may consider keeping track of the lies they tell or their manipulations. In tracking their lies, you start seeing the pattern behind them.
When it comes time to start repairing the damage from those lies and manipulations, one of the first obstacles is that of trust. In the video “How Can I Trust You Again?”, I address ways you can start rebuilding your relationship, only this time in a healthy manner.
Best Regards,
Jeff
