When he shared with me what happened, I said to myself “Damn, that’s cold!” When the cheater sleeps with the lover in the marriage bed, it sends a loud message, whether intentional or not.
Sleeping with the lover in the marriage bed shows an utter disregard for the sanctity of your marriage in addition to the betrayal of the affair. It’s as if the knife in the back phenomena used a weapon that had been in the freezer before being used.
It really does make a difference where the cheating happened and the circumstances behind it. Some cheating is ‘cold blooded’ instead of the ‘hot blooded’ passion type of phenomena.
It’s not by accident that terms like “cold bitch’ and ‘hot wife’ are used when finding a way of expressing what you’re dealing with. These term convey the challenges you are facing.
When you are on the receiving end of the affair, where the affair happened matters. How it happened matters.
If it’s the back seat of the family car, it matters. If it’s the marriage bed, it matters.
The act defiles that item from that point on. There’s no amount of cleaning that removes such a stain.
It’s infuriating when the cheater dismisses your concern and questions. They think that such specifics aren’t that important.
When you are going through affair recovery, those details are important. They help you start making sense out of the situation.
You want to know whether the affair was about the circumstances or the person. You are looking for answers. Those details help your mind start connecting the dots and creating order in the midst of chaos.
When you are emotionally blown away, you grasp at anything that starts helping your mind make sense out of what happened. At such times, you’re not sure what to believe. You’re also not sure where to start getting your life back together.
This is where resources like the ‘Affair Recovery Workshop’ come in. Recovery takes time. It’s not a matter of just getting answers, it includes working through those answers.
The workshop, with its unique sequence guides you through your recovery journey, including the double messages and lies.
Best Regards,
Jeff
