Earlier this month, I addressed the topic of ‘weasel words’. Within a short time after sending it out, a reader wrote back with the question, “How about weasel words that women use?“
After reading his question, I stopped for a few minutes thinking it through. I hadn’t specifically considered the weasel words that women use.
There are some notable gender differences. For example, when a woman says “I don’t want to be married. I’m considering divorce“, it means that she is frustrated to the point of feeling desperate and want drastic changes. When a man says such a statement, they’ve likely talked with a divorce attorney and have taken steps toward dissolution of your marriage.
Gender differences in communication makes for a fascinating topic. Each gender has some unique quirks. In respect of the questioner, I’ll address the topic the way he asked it.
Women concealing affairs and flirting use words that obfuscate and hide what they are doing. In some cases the motive is for intentional deceit.
When intentional, words are crafted. In such cases, communication will be subtle and inappropriate behavior only hinted at. Men would have to specifically tune in to their emotions and word choice.
Unless they’ve been trained, many men are oblivious to the subtle messages. Their wife told them what’s going on and the men miss it.
In others, it’s about ‘protecting feelings’. That protective feelings one is tough for men. They want information straight up rather than hints, suggestions and suggestive comments.
Whatever the reason, their weasel words disrupt communication and contributes to the confusion. It leaves the husband unsure of where he stands in his relationship with you.
If you’re unsure where you stand in your marriage, you could be the victim of weasel words being used against you.
Besides the confusion, weasel words also have a secondary effect of increasing self-doubt. This happens when your wife has retorts that leave you unsure what you heard.
By shifting the meaning of what’s said, it leaves you feeling bewildered.
If the two of you are not working at improving communication, then by default, your communication is worsening.
At the Restored Lifestyle Support Community, you can read up more on topics like this and have a forum where you can share your story with others who are struggling with affair issues like you.
In the Support Community, you’ll find open conversations about affairs and relationship building.
Best Regards,
Jeff
