While our home was undergoing renovation after a water leak in the wall, we stayed in temporary housing. Although we enjoyed where we stayed, there were some irritations.
One of those irritations was a slow internet. When I say slow, it was akin to molasses on a cold winter morning kind of slow. The delayed responsiveness was irritating.
I’ve grown accustomed to more responsive internet service. The slow response was like suddenly hitting the brakes.
An added irritation was that cellphone reception was often not there. We were in the dead zone of modern technology and communications.
We adjusted and survived the experience, although it was not without frustrations and irritations. Poor communication and slow connectivity stressed us.
In a similar way, when marital communication gets unresponsive or cut off, it’ll stress you out as well. It’s a sudden jolt when the connectivity and responsiveness changes abruptly.
One of the consequences associated with affairs is the sudden change in communication and connection. Rather than a sense of oneness between the two of you, there’s instead a sense of being alone in your pain.
Being cut off from your spouse is stressful. Whether it happens intentionally or as a reaction to the affair, the effects are still there.
Even when it comes to talking about what happened, delayed responses make a tense situation worse. Delaying answers only adds stress. Affairs are not emotional storms that just blow over after a couple of days.
Each of you need answers. Each of you need reassurances and responsiveness. Delaying responses amounts to telling your spouse they are a non-person. You’re already feeling bad enough. Being ignored or talked down to or facing delays only intensifies the anger.
Rather than avoiding and delaying, learn some better ways of dealing with each other. One place for learning those methods is in the support communities at Restored Lifestyle. There you can learn better ways of opening up and maintaining communication.
Best Regards,
Jeff
