My brother in law often jokes about how often he has to bite his tongue. He even has a particular facial gesture he displays when he does so.
Even though he makes the face behind others, I see it and chuckle to myself. I laugh to myself since I also find myself having similar tongue biting moments especially when it comes to relationship issues.
I find it exceptionally challenging keeping silent in public settings. It troubles me whenever I hear others giving direction that destroys relationships. I also know that some people either don’t want help or don’t want it now.
I remind myself of the old Latin phrase “mundus mult decepi” (which means the world wants to be deceived). There are many who would rather believe a lie than face hard truths, especially concerning relationships.
As much as it pains me, there are times I have to let the masses believe falsehoods. One of the wild falsehoods I heard at a ‘self-improvement’ seminar was that “gender is only energy”.
The person pushing this idea actually believes that the only difference between men and women are their type of energy. The astounding part is that people pay him big bucks for this big falsehood.
Would it surprise you that he experiences problems in his relationships? When you subscribe to this idea, infidelity happens when ‘the energy is right‘.
It makes any kind of moral concerns turn into questions of energy. Affairs become nothing more than another amoral energy event.
I’m well aware that affairs do change your energy fields, yet recovery from an affair takes more. An affair is more than an energy exchange.
It also implies that healing relationships only requires ‘energy readjustments‘. Although affair recovery makes changes in your relationship energy, there’s more to it than simple readjustments.
Men and women are different in more ways that the kind of energy they have. They have different needs, different motivations and different ways of communicating. When you over simplify the differences, you lose a great deal, especially when it comes to affairs.
Not only do you lose some important items, oversimplifying also leads to fixing the wrong problems. When you don’t fully understand the problem, you can’t fix the problem. Your solution is limited by your understanding of the issues involved with the affair.
If you’re looking for help in your affair recovery, consider joining the site, Restored Lifestyle. There are forums and resources providing real answers to real problems.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
