In one of the forums at the Restored Lifestyle site, a member stated something that inspired me. She was pointing out the struggle between letting go of something that is bad for you in exchange for an ‘unknown’ better option.
It started me wondering how many of you are willing to let go of the bad in exchange for an unknown better? Being caught between a known relationship which is bad for you and promises of better marriage relationship or life that’s filled with ‘unknowns’ is a quandary.
Even if you’re not the one in the quandary, your spouse may be. Understanding the challenge will give you an insight into their world and struggles. You say you want them to talk to you, understanding this quandary gives you something real to talk about.
Even bad or unhealthy relationships provide attachments. If you’re insecure, having a bad attachment is preferred to no or uncertain attachments. Letting go of those old attachments requires a leap of faith.
When it comes to leaps of faith, it’s easier making that leap when you have promises you can trust. When there is an unconditional commitment to you, it’s easier making the leap.
Leaping based on half-hearted promises, conditional acceptance or ‘just because’ it’s supposedly better amounts to foolishness.
This means if you want your spouse to make such a leap and let go of their bad relationship, they need something better that they can count on. They need someone whose promises they can trust. Whose commitment is as rock solid as possible.
Many of the key ingredients are the same ones involved in rebuilding trust. If these are missing from your marriage, letting go presents a problem. The more trust your spouse has in you or you in them, the easier it will be to let go.
In the video “How Can I Trust You Again?” I address what you need in order to have a solid foundation of trust in your marriage. Having trust you can count on makes letting go possible.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
