The ‘Moment of Weakness’ scam

When I hear affairs referred to as ‘moments of weakness‘, it raises some questions for me. Take the term ‘moment of weakness’. Have you ever considered what a ‘moment of weakness’ is or what it means?

I want to challenge your thinking on what the term ‘moment of weakness’ means. You may have bought into the cheater telling you they had a moment of weakness and been misled.

According to the comic artist, Oliver Markus, the moment of weakness refers to situations where one spouse is torn. “It’s a constant struggle between what your body wants, and what the civilized part of your brain says you should do, in order to avoid the negative consequences of cheating on your spouse and ruining your long-term relationship. That’s why affairs, and extra-marital sex, are often referred to as “a moment of weakness.”

His description makes the ‘moment of weakness’ sound like a romantic aspect of the human experience. Such thinking may sell novels, yet affairs don’t happen in that moment of weakness.

It’s a misnomer calling it a ‘moment’ of weakness. My experience is that the cheater has been fantasizing about the affair prior to the opportunity happening.

They’ve already made a series of choices that makes the affair possible. They chose who to fantasize about. They chose how far things will progress sexually. They chose what kind of relationship they want. They chose how to hide their choices.

What Markus refers to as the moment, I view as the culmination of a series of choices. That ‘moment’ is nothing more than when they give into their selfish lusts. That ‘moment’ is when the scales tip in the direction of the affair.

Although they act on the affair at that moment, they’ve been nursing the thought over a period of time. They may not be consciously aware of that fantasy or told you about it, but that doesn’t mean its’ not there.

Affairs are the end product of fantasies held by the cheater. If the cheater were honest with you, they will validate what I’m telling you.

If affairs were due to moments of weakness, then there is little you can do to prevent them or keep affair relapse from ever happening.With that kind of thinking, they can happen with no warning signs or advance notice. They just happen out of the blue.

On the other hand, if affairs are the end product of fantasies, there are signs of an imminent affair alerting you to the danger.

When there are signs of imminent dangers, you can take action. You can know what to look for. In such a case, you can head off affairs and affair relapse. You can take steps in preventing the affair from erupting again.

In my video on “Overcoming Affair Relapse” you can learn what those signs of an imminent affair are and what to do in order to head off an affair relapse before it happens.

Keeping It Real,

Jeff