After yesterday’s post on Affair Relapse, it struck me that it would help addressing what not to do in preventing affair relapse. Knowing the common mistakes helps you avoid them rather than getting stuck in them.
I’ll cover some of the dangerous things you can do that endanger your marriage. It’s not you that makes them cheat, although you may be doing things that make cheating look more inviting to them.
Giving the cheater large amounts of unstructured time is a sure way of getting a relapse started. The more money and time they have, the greater the risk. The danger multiplies when they’re out of town, have disposable funds and drink or drug.
Just giving the cheater unlimited access to the ATM card puts things in the danger zone. The more funds they have access to the greater the risks. They’ve already exhibited marital infidelity so financial infidelity is no big deal.
Having a fight with them just before they leave on a business trip puts your marriage in danger. When the fight includes you making personal attacks or putting them down, makes the situation even more volatile.
Using violence as a way of keeping your spouse in line is another added risk. If violence or threats aren’t enough, using and keeping secrets put the cheater into where they’ll make a bee line to a lover.
You may think that threats and secrets work, yet what they succeed in doing is driving the cheater away from you.
Another way of creating risk is by having the cheater return to the old friends and places they associated with during the affair. Being surrounded by affair-friendly friends and familiar places puts the cheater into automatic pilot mode where they just react rather than think.
If you and your spouse have used sex as your fix-all solution to problems, that learning is often transferable. The cheater has it in their mind that sex fixes everything. This becomes problematic when pressures build up at home and there are still tensions between the two of you.
When the tension builds, the cheater will find some solution. Since they’ve been trained to think sex fixes everything, it puts them in a risky situation.
Another sure fire way of making a relapse happen is by doing nothing or not having any kind of affair relapse prevention plan. Lack of planning is one way of making sure it happens.
Rather than make these mistakes or others, you can instead download the video on Preventing Affair Relapse, which guides you through what you need to know and understand in reducing the risks.
Instead of making the same errors over and over, you can instead make progress in recovering from the affair. Order your copy today and prevent problems from happening AGAIN!
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
