Throughout the year I watch the trends concerning affairs. Issues like staying together after infidelity, affair recovery, handling the trauma, and knowing the timeline of recovery dominate the minds of many of you.
Those are all important parts of recovering from infidelity. Some of you even dig deeper and look for the why and how related to the affair. Like the old game where you are ‘getting warmer’, these topics get you close to some of the root issues.
Close is good, yet leaves the root issues unresolved. Until resolved at the root issue level, the threat of the affair mindset returning remains.
The root issues behind an affair and its occurrence are where the problems are that matter most. Until those root issues are dealt with, the affair still holds the cheaters heart and mind captive.
I want to see you and your spouse freed from that kind of captivity. Breaking free from the ‘affair mindset’ is the way to make that freedom possible.
This means that the two of you will need to address the ‘distraction’ that led to making the affair possible. Consider what distracted your spouse.
Given that temptations are always around, when they are focused on you, those temptations have no effect. It’s only when they are distracted from you that the temptations pose a threat.
Many couples like yourself quit working on recovery once the cheater comes back or new routines are established. Those stages are part of reconciliation, but don’t address the flaws leading to the affair in the first place.
In affair recovery, you don’t want to stop recovery before it’s completed. Doing so leaves you vulnerable to future affairs. It exposes them to dangers before they’ve taken the steps needed in addressing their root needs.
Since most couples don’t have much an Affair Relapse plan, developing one is a good start. You can find out more about Affair Relapse prevention in my video on “Preventing Affair Relapse.”
Knowing ways of preventing relapse also prevents the nightmare you’ve been going through from happening again. Order your copy today and start taking action on this often neglected part of affair recovery.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
