Lately one of the common factors I hear about with some affairs is hospital and health crises. This happens when your attention is distracted by the hospital or health crisis that the cheater makes their move.
It could even be your health crisis that’s distracting you.
This week I heard from two separate women who both told me that their husbands had cheated on them while the wives were in the hospital or fighting for their lives because of life-threatening medical conditions.
These are particularly painful situations. While you care for someone else, the cheater takes care of themselves. Not only do they take care of themselves, but they also justify it by saying they just wanted to be ‘happy’.
During those times, you have limited physical and emotional availability. There are times you’re not there even when you’re there.
Caring for others drains you of your emotional availability. It’s during those times you need your spouse more than ever. At those times you need the reassurance that all is well at home.
At those times you need your spouse to say “I’ll hold down the fort. Just take care of yourself and get better.” And if they don’t, it’s a BIG RED FLAG that this behind your back kind of affair happens.
They know you need reassurances at those times. They may even assure you that they are there 100% and make other promises of their commitment during the time others need you.
They claim to love you and are going to be there for you in the time others need you.
When health crisis affairs hit, they’re particularly damaging. This is due to you being in a vulnerable place when you discover them.
You were drained and this just sucks more life out of you. Like some barbarian sucking the marrow out of the bone, you feel they just took away any sign of life out of you.
Affairs never happen at a good time. This is certainly true of health crisis affairs. The timing of these affairs sucks. They happen at a time when you can’t compete or do anything to stop them. This leaves you feeling particularly vulnerable.
Although you may not feel strong, your marriage can recover from health care crisis affairs. Recovery requires effort and making changes.
The longer you put off making changes, the longer recovery will take. You already have enough challenges in front of you without babying the cheater.
This is where the Affair Recovery Workshop comes in. In the downloadable workshop, you can discover what to change without having to go to the counselor’s office.
When you can work on your marriage at your convenience rather than someone else’s schedule, it frees you up to focus when your focus is available.
Click and download the workshop today. By giving you direction, it keeps you from wandering around in circles wondering what to do.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
