One of the experiences that triggers anxieties and emotions for me is receiving traffic citations. I hate getting traffic tickets, especially when they could’ve been avoided.
There’s something about seeing the flashing lights in my rear view mirror that knots my stomach up. I find myself getting hyper-vigilant anytime that law enforcement vehicles are behind me.
When they turn on the flashing lights, I quickly go from hyper-vigilance to mush. I feel all kinds of changes going on in my body during those times. I start thinking through my actions and ask myself “What did I do?”
It’s as if your guilty, but you don’t know what you’re guilty for. It puts you in a state of dis-ease. It puts me on the lookout for what I may have done.
Getting a citation ruins your day. It removes any sparkle your day may have had. It also puts you in a bad mood.
Some cheaters look for incidents like traffic citations as an excuse for an affair. They figured that they were upset and in their mind, it justifies an excuse for an affair.
They want the affair and are on the lookout for something to excuse doing it.
Emotional episodes no matter how small, are used in excusing their actions. The worse the incident left them feeling, the greater the risk they look for a fast way out of it with something like an affair.
It may be a traffic ticket, a bad day at work, or even heavy traffic. Any thing that can upset them can be used as part of their self-triggering for an affair.
This danger is even greater with cheaters who are going through recovery from their activities. They’ve already crossed a line and emotionally upsetting incidents serve as triggers that get them thinking about another affair.
This means that during recovery from the affair, you need to be aware of the dangers that emotional challenges present. Not ever upsetting episode takes them back to an affair, but if enough of them happen, things change.
All it takes if for something to come along and add some negativity icing to the daily stress and routine they go through to send them into a tailspin.
Instead of always having to be on alert for potential dangers, you can know what they are and have a plan for dealing with them. In the video on “Overcoming Affair Relapse”, I guide you and them through challenges like these.
The next time the cheater gets a ticket doesn’t have to end of pushing them back into an affair.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
