I did a webinar yesterday, addressing the role of fantasies and affairs. As part of the webinar, the role of fantasies, before during and after the affair were addressed, including the fantasies of the cheater and the resolute spouse.
One of the many nuggets from the webinar was that ‘fantasies keep couples from solving the real problems’. The fantasies about the affair keep them putting out fires in places that where no fire actually existed.
The surprise for many is that both the cheater and the betrayed have fantasies about the affair. When the affair is surrounded by fantasies, it distracts you from dealing with the real issues.
When you can’t talk about the affair in an honest, straight forward manner, how will you be able to address the right problem?
You may be working hard on a problem, yet have you considered whether it’s the right problem?
In the “Affair Recovery Workshop“, you’ll be guided in addressing the affair and the root issues surrounding it.
Best Regards,
Jeff
2 Responses
I have to admit that I have had fantasies concerning the affair that were just me taking a little bit of information and letting it run like wildfire in my mind. I don’t know if they are true or not, but they could be true, and I don’t believe much of what my husband tells me about the affair. He has lied too many times.
The fantasies often take a little bit of truth and exaggerate it, either in a negative or positive direction. In exaggerating the facts, one creates a distortion of what is really occurring. When it comes to put out the fire, they attack the distortion, rather than the root of the distortion.