Adjusting to the destructive aftermaths isn’t easy. In my own life, I faced those challenges in the aftermath of Hurricanes, flash flooding, and unexpected deaths.
Initially, I felt numbed out from being overwhelmed. Just looking at the mess left me wondering “Will we ever get past what happened?”
Part of that came from the enormity of the task and part of the overwhelm came from the mix of emotions that hit me.
I found myself having to throw away many items surrounded by memories. At times it felt like I was tossing out memories and pieces of my life.
I know relationships with people are far more valuable than objects. Going through those aftermaths reminded me of the importance of relationships along with where real value and memories lie.
Stopping your love for an unfaithful spouse challenges you. You can’t just turn the feeling off like a light switch. They were a part of you and now they’re gone.
When there’s been a divorce, what you had is gone. Facing this reality is tough.
It’s not just about turning off the love. Adjusting to such a change also requires turning down the power of the bonding that came with your marriage.
The bonds and connections inside of you don’t have an off position. They’re permanent. Since they’re permanent, the best option for moving on requires creating new connections that overpower the old ones.
It also means removing items that can trigger those old emotions. Keeping them around will have you in a perpetual emotional mess.
When the connection between you and them was highly intense or long or if there’s children involved, stopping your love for them requires more intense interventions. In such cases, your challenge is in finding a way of living with the situation on life’s terms.
You have to face the situation for what it is, without embellishing it either positively or negatively. In order to accomplish that, you need resiliency.
Resiliency is that ability to ‘bounce back’ after a destructive event.
That kind of resiliency comes from working through the traumas of what happened and facing the loss of your love. In my video on “Overcoming Affair Trauma”, I share techniques with you that help you develop that kind of resiliency.
You can’t change what happened. You can change how you react to it.
You can change how you’re dealing with your circumstances. I encourage you to click and download the video so that you can start improving your resiliency.
The more you practice the techniques presented, the greater flexibility you’ll develop.
You don’t have to like what happened, but you do have to face it and recover from it.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
