It’s frustrating dealing with lying. After being lied to repeatedly you’re unsure what to believe and what to disbelieve. Life with the person lying to you becomes a guessing game. With the liars I’ve dealt with, I learned ways of taking everything they said to me with a grain of salt. Although I developed some skepticism with them, it took work for me not to distrust everyone based on what they did. I didn’t want one liar to ruin my relationships with others.
In my situation, their lies ended up costing me a large sum of money and emotional pain. I wanted to be mad at their lawyer and the judge involved, but I realized they were lied to as well. It taught me that courts are more about stories and images than they are about truth and facts.
When your ex lies, it poses some challenges. They lied to you when the two of you were together. They lied about what they did. They lied to their divorce attorney and now they’re continuing to spread lies to anyone who’ll put up with them. In many cases, they believe their own lies, which leads to them being so convincing.
To put it bluntly, “a liar is gonna lie”. That’s how they deal with life, how they deal with their problems, how they deal with their fears. They learned to trust their lies and the longer they do it, the more convincing they come across.
The exes that lie are bad enough. When the ex lies about you and won’t get out of your life, it’s even worse. In those cases, they delight in tormenting you. It keeps them in contact with you. Although it sounds dramatic, it’s as if they want to suck your living soul out of you. This is why I call them ‘soul-sucking liars’. They are particularly nasty to deal with.
Let me start by pointing out that countering each of their lies will wear you out. It also makes you look defensive. Dealing with them requires you to let go of your issues with them. Yes, I know they hurt you and you don’t want them back in your life. They not only hurt you, but they removed hope of anything nice.
Getting on with your life means jettisoning the emotional baggage such soul-sucking liars bring into your life. This requires forgiveness. This kind of forgiveness is not about you condoning what they’ve done. Instead, it involves you letting go of the pain and garbage they brought into your life.
You can’t clean up their side of the street, but you can do something about yourself. You can learn ways of not collecting the garbage they leave lying around. You can choose not to clean up their mess.
They say inflammatory things hoping you’ll react. This is how they control those around them to do what they want. The counter to this is reprogramming yourself to where you don’t react or that you delay your reactions. Learning ways of letting go gives you that option.
In my video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks” I go into ways of letting go of the pain and garbage you’ve been collecting.
The more you practice letting go, the better you’ll get at it. It takes time to unlearn the habits that are being used against you by the soul-sucking liars.
Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
