In dealing with infidelity, I encounter situations so extreme I remark “You can’t make this stuff up.” Just recently, I came across an article where a wife hired a hit man to kill her ex-husband after he married her best friend.
The article reminded me of the seriousness of affairs and the ramifications of them. Affairs play with people’s feelings. It turns mothers and fathers into monsters. Those monsters have intense rage and hatred that are looking for a target.
In the article, the ex-husband married her best friend, which leads me to suspect infidelity at some level. Whatever the cause, it left his ex-wife furious. She fumed and threatened doing harm.
At first, the angry wife’s comments were dismissed and not taken serious. She even insisted “I was just joking”.
Like the T-shirts about how something is all fun and games until someone gets hurt, her threats were seen as idle threats until the petrol bomb damaged her ex-husbands home.
The arson attack made it clear that this was no longer fun and games.
Anytime arson is involved, you know it’s serious and that the emotions are intense. The arson was a wake-up call to the man and his new wife.
This wasn’t like the movies where each of the ex-spouses just get on with their lives as if they were each now better off. In this case, the nightmare continued. It was only in court that it came out that she hired three different hit men to kill her ex-husband.
Situations like this one aren’t easy to deal with. It serves as a reminder that affairs are serious business. It also makes it clear that issues surrounding affairs need your attention. Ignoring them only makes matters worse and delays pain.
You can’t dismiss the hurt and pain of your spouse. The pain is real and they will remind you of it either directly or indirectly.
Rather than ignore the situation, address the affair and the issues surrounding it. In the Affair Recovery Workshop, I guide you through the important issues needing your attention with the affair. Whether or not the two of you stay together, the issues still need to be discussed and resolved if possible.
When affair issues are ignored, it opens the door to situation like this one, where arson was used to let a husband know how angry his ex-wife was over what happened. The hurt feelings will be communicated to you in one way or another.
Discussing the issues is always better than cleaning up the damage after things explode.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
