One of the buzzwords now in circulation in popular culture is “Call out culture” or “cancel culture”. Although the term itself is new, the idea behind it has been around for centuries.
I know from personal experience about being cancelled from social media sites due to taking stands and speaking out against today’s infidelity culture. It reminded me of when I was being sent to the principal’s office back at A. B. Freeman Elementary School. I was “called out” for something I did by my fellow students.
The thinking behind ‘cancel culture’ is that when someone says, does or tweets a controversial comment they are called out or cancelled. Rather than address the controversy behind it, the choice is made to cancel or eliminate them. You act like that person no longer matters or exists.
Take the singer Morgan Wallen who was ‘cancelled’ due to video from a neighbor’s ring camera. I don’t know about you, but to me, it seems like an invasion of privacy. It’s one thing if someone is doing or saying it on stage, quite another when caught in a private moment or being spied on.
In the days of ancient Greece, this was known as “ostracizing”. Rather than deal with the unpleasant matter, the leaders of Greek society booted them out. In kicking out the trouble makers, they thought it would solve things.
Even Scripture talks about how when you remove a scorner, trouble diminishes. This works in many cases, yet when the trouble maker is your spouse, it complicates things.
When it comes to affairs, using the cancel option is tempting. You may wish you could cancel out or even remove unpleasant things the affair brings into your life. With affairs, this translates to divorce or separation.
Among those unpleasant things affairs bring into your life are self-doubt, loss of self-confidence, and a sense of finding out you’ve been living a lie. When things like that come into your life, I understand the temptation of wanting to cancel them out, and doing it as fast as possible.
At such times, I recall the warning given to me by Robert Magee about how anything that gets you out of pain fast is potentially addictive. In fact, the faster the pain goes away, the greater the potential for addiction.
Removing or cancelling out the pain won’t heal the wounds. Canceling your marriage won’t solve your problems. It leads you toward fixing the wrong problem. The pain is alerting you to a problem needing your attention.
When that pain is your marriage, it means you and your spouse have some changes to make. The pain is motivator in making changes. The discomfort keeps things from going back to the way they were.
Rather than cancelling out the pain, consider what it’s telling you needs changing.
If your pain is telling you that change is needed, yet you’re unsure about where to start or what to change, consider a personal consultation package with myself. I’ve had some recent openings in my schedule, so I encourage you to act fast before they fill up.
In the consultation package, you receive a month of weekly one hour phone calls plus email support during that time for one set price. With the consultation, you can jump start making changes in your marriage.
To order a package and schedule a time that works for you, email me at Jeff@RestoreTheFamily.com .
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
