When a reader expressed concern that his wife went off with another man at a swingers party, I experienced mixed reactions. I was saddened at his wife going off with someone else, I was also saddened by a husband taking his wife to a swinger’s party.
Another part of me wondered “What did you expect?” Things like that happen at swinger’s parties. This isn’t something you can attend for entertainment and not be personally impacted.
He acted surprised when swinging actually happened. It left me asking “What he was expecting?”
This is one of the dangers that happen with swinging. Each person you or your spouse is with can potentially take you away from the bond you have with your spouse. At that moment, it’s no longer fun and games.
You may enjoy watching other couples, but eventually, it will touch your marriage and your spouse. At the moment you enter the lifestyle, your marriage is no longer a special relationship.
In real life, you lose control when you step through the door of the party. This is one of the risks that go with ‘the lifestyle’.
If you’re searching for ‘sexual freedom’, it comes with a price. You lose real intimacy and specialness in exchange for sexual indulgence.
Swinging changes your marriage. It changes your relationship. It changes you. It brings changes you didn’t plan on.
Those unexpected changes include developing feelings you didn’t plan on. A common complaint I hear is about spouses sneaking behind their partners’ backs to foster unapproved relationships. Once you cross the borderlines protecting your marriage, the rules change.
Relationships don’t stay inboxes. They grow and change, including swinger relationships. They have ways of growing larger than you ever expected.
When your situation gets unmanageable and out of control, you need to change what you’re doing. In the video “Overcoming Relationship Trauma for Swingers” I go into ways of reducing and getting out of the relationship messes that swinging brought into your life.
Getting out is tougher than getting in. The road to recovery starts when you start getting healthy in your marriage again.
Click and download your copy of the video today. Your marriage and your health depend on it.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
