Fourteen years ago I was very active on many social media sites. One of the sites I was on was hubpages. One of my pages on that site gained widespread attention addressed the topic of sexual addiction. It was a page that brought awareness to the very real and destructive consequences of sexual addiction.
On that page I addressed the question of “Is it love or sexual addiction?” The page not only received exposure, many readers commented on the material.
In many ways, the attention surprised me. As a counselor, sexual addiction was a common issue I encountered. My work with the sexually addicted was done in a professional setting.
It surprised me how much debate, discussion and questions that the topic sparked.
Some readers were sexually addicted and struggling. They found comfort in the material and thanked me for my insights.
Other readers read it as a more general piece addressing boundaries, intimacy and love.
Although that page is long gone, I still find myself dealing with the issue, especially with couples caught up with affair situations or just wanting more information on the topic.
While the psychiatric community still debate whether sexual addiction ‘officially’ exists, addiction counselors are dealing with those struggling with it.
Now that the topic of sexual addiction in the news and media, I thought it was time to address a few questions frequently asked about sexual addiction.
In helping you and other couples recover from affairs, I assure you that sexual addiction is real. The power it exerts over its victims is strong. In fact, it’s not uncommon for those addicted to sexual behavior to have several affairs at once with multiple partners. It’s the secrecy that makes this form of addiction so destructive and dangerous.
While some wonder if the term “sexual addiction” is even real, others are dealing with loved ones who suffer from these behaviors or have had an affair themselves as an outlet for the addictive behavior patterns.
Not all affairs are due to sexual addictions. When the affair is due to sexual addictions, it’s not the same creature as other affairs. Being that it’s not the same, it requires a different approach during recovery.
When sex addiction is involved, the affairs are impersonal. It’s about getting their fix, rather than a rejection of you or a statement of your sexual attractiveness. The addiction enables the cheater to have affair. It’s not about you!
It’s not that you’re not sexy enough, or that they are no longer interested in you, it’s about the sexual addiction.
In order to help those of you dealing with sexual addictions, I’ve put together a special report entitled “Bonding and Addiction”. This report goes in depth in explaining sexual addiction and trauma bonds.
I’ve included the section on trauma bonds since in many situations, the spouse of the addict often have trauma bonding issues themselves. Like a hand in a glove, the wounds of you and the one struggling with the addiction are typically found together.
This also means that getting better means both of you will need to address the wounding in your lives and finding healthier ways of dealing with them. This report provides you with tools and explanations so that you can begin changing the unhealthy patterns contributing to the affair situation.
Knowing how sexual addiction works is essential in overcoming it and stop beating yourself up for what the person struggling with the addiction does.
Click and download your copy of the report today. You don’t have to continue blaming yourself for what happened. The more you understand the sooner you’ll get better.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
