Have you given any thought to whether or not you hate your marriage? Have you talked to someone who hates their marriage?
If you’ve talked with them, one of the things they will tell you is that it didn’t happen all at once. You don’t wake up hating your spouse and your marriage clear out of the blue.
The hatred grows little by little. You or your spouse start putting other things ahead of each other. You quit making time for each other. Over time you or they stop putting each other first, replacing that cherished position with job, other responsibilities or self.
Somewhere along the way the two of you start calling each other names. Cuss words become a daily part of life. Love is replaced by control. Tender moments are replaced by efforts at manipulating each other while avoiding being manipulated.
You find yourself on guard when your spouse is around rather than feeling totally at ease. The warm fuzzies have been replaced by the cold pricklies. Over time, you find yourself experiencing bodily reactions when your spouse enters the same room. Coming home is no longer something either of you eagerly look forward to.
The Righteous Brothers sang ‘You’ve lost that loving feeling’. What they don’t sing about is what it’s replaced by. When love is gone, it’s replaced by something. In most cases, it’s ‘control’.
Eventually the risk of affairs raises its head. When there’s enough hate at home, other options start looking better. You need to be loved, your spouse needs to be loved. The two people each of you need the most are unavailable.
You marriage doesn’t have to stay like this. The two of you don’t have to hate your marriage. Things can change. You may not know how to make the needed changes, or what to talk about to change things. That’s where the “Affair Recovery Workshop” can help your marriage even if there hasn’t been a physical affair.
With the ‘Direct Connect Method’ used in the material, you’ll find ways of accessing your spouse, and getting past their defensivness. Yes, there are backdoors into their mind and heart. There are ways of phrasing your questions and statements that will either get their attention or leave you being shut out.
Not using these methods are a sure way of getting what you’ve always been getting up to this point. If you want something different, you need to do something different, like using some of the ‘Direct Connection Methods’ to get your spouse’s heart and attention.
The hate starts little by little. There may be little things you or your spouse are doing now that if not dealt with will eventually become hatreds. Not taking actions that will improve your marriage is another way of letting those little hates start showing up.
Best Regards,
Jeff
