There’s a reason those old songs often periodically repeat in your head. I’ve found myself repeating lyrics or a tune over and over in my head for seemingly no reason at all. Used to, I attributed it to nostalgia and a yearning for the more carefree days of youth.
Now, I realize that one of the reasons they repeat is the ‘Primacy Effect’. The first time you hear something or do something it sticks with you longer than subsequent experiences. Although I understand the phenomena, I’m not immune to it.
A song that often comes into my head when dealing with affair issues is “Stuck in the Middle With You” by Stealer’s Wheel. The 1972 song captures the sensation of being stuck which is a common theme. When people tell me “I don’t know whether to stay with them or go (in my marriage)” in my head, its’ as if the song goes into another verse.
The song comes into my head as if on cue when I hear similar sentiments, either stated out loud or hinted at.
It becomes another application of the same unpleasant ‘stuck’ situation. You’re unsure if you want to move forward or if you want to give up. You feel the pull of many forces on you taking you in different directions.
That captures the feeling of being ‘stuck’ quite well.
Consider some of the other lyrics of Stuck in the Middle with You:
“Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you
Yes, I’m stuck in the middle with you,
And I’m wondering what it is I should do
It’s so hard to keep this smile from my face,
Losing control, and I’m all over the place”
Being stuck is emotional, mental and physical. It’s a state of relationship limbo. You can’t let go of the past, yet can’t move ahead either. It sucks, but you don’t have to stay there.
If that sounds like the situation you’re in regarding an affair, you’ll want to consider the “Affair Trauma” video. A part of Affair Trauma is the sensation of being ‘stuck’, unable to go back or move forward.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
