In some of my previous emails, I talked about some of the affair villains. Today I want to introduce you to a new one.
Although they share many of the traits of wedding crashers and poachers, this one has a definite agenda. They’re ambitious social climbers who sleep their way to promotions and job security.
I debated over what to call them, so for the moment, I’ll refer to them as ‘exploiters.’ They exploit situations to their advantage.
They use secrets, alliances, and rumors in getting their way. Affairs just happen to be another tool in their arsenal.
Exploiters are often found in workplaces where there is a lot of social interaction and contact with people in higher positions. They exploit when your marriage hits a rough spot, when you drink too much or are just having a bad day. No tough situation is beyond them exploiting.
They’re the ones who always seem to be schmoozing with the boss or kissing up to the bigwigs. They make themselves indispensable by being the go-to person for everything.
When they sleep with your spouse, they’re not out to replace you or steal your spouse. They’re out for a promotion or job security. One of their favorite ways of achieving their goal is through blackmail.
They sleep and then threaten to tell or expose. The threat is what gets them the promotion. It’s a sick game, but it’s one they’re good at playing.
If you suspect that your spouse is sleeping with an exploiter, take a step back and look at the big picture.
Are they being promoted or given plum assignments? Do they have a lot of access to people in high places?
If your answer is yes, the risk of an exploiter being around is high.
In previous emails I talked about love addicts using sex to get love, exploiters using sex to get better job positioning. They approach it impersonally as ‘just doing business’.
When your spouse is the one being blackmailed, it threatens your whole family. What’s worse is when they haven’t slept with your spouse, but make others think they have. This is when you have a non-affair affair.
Those situations where you’re unsure of whether the rumor of an affair is true or not put you in a real bind. Your spouse says one thing, yet the rumor mill says something else.
Exploiters take advantage of any leverage they gain. If they know that the two of you have hit a rough spot, they’ll use it to their advantage.
Although you can’t guard your spouse 24/7, you can take the steps of strengthening your marriage. There are things you can do that improve the bond between the two of you.
When the marriage bond holds firm, exploiters don’t have an in. There’s no opening for them to take advantage of.
One way of improving bonds is with my “30 Days to a Better Marriage” program. In my “30 Days to a Better Marriage” program, you will receive daily instructions about some way of improving your marriage relationship.
I made the changes incremental, which increases the likelihood that you’ll do them and increases the likelihood that the changes will stick.
Investing in your marriage always pays dividends.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
