Back in November, I did a facebook live presentation on “Talking with Others about Marriage Counseling”. The topic came up after an article came out about a couple with differing views on whether or not their attending marriage counseling should be publicly announced. (The video is available at my YouTube site (RestoreTheFamily) and my facebook page, Healthy Marriage Tips).
Going to marriage counseling is one of the options couples consider after discovering an affair. Every option you consider has positive and negative considerations. The option you decide on is the one that will work best for your marriage.
There are a couple of things to consider before deciding to go public or keep it private if you and your spouse decide to attend marriage counseling.
With counseling, one of the considerations is whether or not to discuss you’re going to counseling with others. Although the counselor is constrained by ethical standards in that area, you and your spouse aren’t.
Opinions vary on whether or not it’s beneficial to discuss this topic with others. Although I touched on it in the live presentation, I wanted to share with you one of the big concerns with discussing it with others.
The big concern is that of trust. The affair itself was a violation of trust. How the two of you handle discussing marriage counseling with others also has trust issues involved. It provides an arena to deal with trust issues as well.
It’s a way for the two of you to start showing each other some level of trust. Who you tell and what you tell speaks volumes about trust issues. It also touches on issues of loyalty, which is another issues that arise with affairs.
Trust and loyalty are important considerations. So is your commitment to work on your marriage.
You may view your counseling as just another part of your life that can be talked about, while your spouse views it as sensitive material. Before you damage what’s left of the trust even further, now is the time to think before you act.
Your marriage relationship needs more trust rather than damaged trust. In the video “How Can I Trust You Again?”, you can learn what specific areas need repair in building trust back up.
You can use the material in conjunction with counseling or separate from it. What’s important is that trust is improved rather than ignored or damaged further.
Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
