Have you ever thought about the moment you considered the possibility your spouse cheated on you? Typically, there was something that changed or felt different. It may have been your heart or gut that alerted you that something isn’t right. Maybe you noticed a new perfume or cologne that they were wearing, or their phone was missing for an extended period.
Regardless of what led you to believe your spouse may have been unfaithful, it’s undoubtedly a difficult and traumatic experience. You’re likely feeling a range of emotions, including confusion, betrayal, hurt, and anger.
Whatever it was, something didn’t feel right. At that moment, your mind took its first steps into a whole new world, even though other parts of you were kicking and screaming in resistance to this sudden change.
What you put off for a while as ‘unthinkable’ has shifted into the category of possibilities. With that shift, you began changing as well. That moment changed your world. Another moment worth considering is what you did next. What did you do after realizing your spouse may be unfaithful?
The choices you made at that time shaped your marriage. It changed the direction things were going. When something changes the direction of your relationship like that, it’s worth reflecting. Consider what you saw as your options at that moment. As you adjusted to this new world, your options changed as well. You may see options now that you didn’t see then. They were hidden by the emotional turmoil you were going through.
Some people may have chosen to confront their spouse about the possible infidelity. Others may have decided to try and find concrete evidence of what was going on. Some people may have even chosen to end their marriage immediately.
If you don’t see more options now, it could be that you’re still struggling with that moment. It has a way of freezing time and your thinking as well.
If you’re stuck or even moving sluggishly after that moment, even if its’ months or years later, there’s hope. Affairs from the past need to be dealt with as well. They bring pain and heartache every bit as much as a current affair.
In the video “Getting Past the Affair Crisis” I address those initial choices and how they shape the next choices and options. If you’re at a dead end now, it could be that you missed a turn or didn’t see it. The video can help you with moments like that.
The road to affair recovery isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be overly complicated either. There are things you can do.
Click and download the video today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
