Those who are into swinging often portray it as ‘fun’. They claim that they are ‘happy’, fulfilled and enjoy life. They present the image that there is nothing wrong with what they do. In much the same way that beer companies or cola companies always portray groups being ‘happy’ when they are consuming the beverage, swingers often present their way of life with a similar marketing approach.
If the ‘lifestyle’ (Swingers often refer to their way of life as ‘the lifestyle’.) is about spreading rainbows of happiness, then why all the secrecy surrounding it? Have you ever considered why you have to know somebody in order to find out where the swingers clubs and meetings are? If it is so open and fun, why do you have to be screened before you are allowed in? When a particular behavior involves keeping secrets and having to be careful about who knows what is going on, it should be a flashing yellow warning sign to you.
When something is truly “FUN” you should be able to do it without guilt, without secrets and not worry about who know what you did. If it is that fun, you should be able to share it with others and have even more fun. For example, when people participate in ziplining, or bicycling or swimming, do they have to meet secretly in order to do so? Do they have to be concerned whether or not the person bicycling on the next road, swimming in the next lane or on the other zipline are having fun? No, they do not have to worry. They are having ‘real fun’. They can share what what they did with others. They can take pictures and tell stories without any sense of hint of guilt or shame. They can post photos of themselves having ‘fun’.
When you have to hide what you are doing or be worried if the kids or your parents find out, it is likely not something that you should be doing. When you have to be worried about who knows that you are having ‘fun’ it should concern you.
Is it any surprise that there are fake swinger sites and fake swingers? Is it any wonder that there are scam artists who take advantage of those who are curious about swinging? Finding good couples to swing with often takes more effort than finding a good mechanic or good physician. Couples are interviewed and screened before they are cleared for being included.
Then on top of that you have to deal with plain old personality issues and hygiene. If you do not have a wonderful personality or have less than ideal hygiene, or do not want to associate with those with lower standards in those areas than yourself, you may be in for a rude awakening when it comes to swinging.
Although swinging is presents the lure of adulterous relations with what you assume are fewer risks, the reality may be quite a shock. There may be plenty of hot husbands and wives out there, but when you are not an easy person to get along with or have not taken great care of yourself, they may not be as accessible as you fantasize about.
Traps are always set with what seems to be easy pickin’s . Fish wouldn’t bite the hook if there was no tricky lure or bait on it. Swinging often presents as ‘bait’, luring you into another world, which is often a struggle to escape.
You can escape. Your marriage can survive, yet there will be scars.
The best choice is to not fall for the lure.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
