If you’re looking for reasons behind infidelity you’ll find a wide variety of answers in popular media. The latest reason for infidelity I came across is ‘snoring’ according to a survey conducted in India.
I applied my truism of ‘consider the source’ to the survey and found that it was done by an extramarital dating platform. When you consider the source, the finding makes more sense.
In this case, when you’re promoting infidelity, the more mundane and common the reason, the better for your service. It amounts to finding an excuse. It’s very much like when you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail kind of situation.
I guess I’ll add snoring to the growing list of other affair causes. This includes testosterone, deep voices, and a host of other variables that popular media claims are reasons for cheating. Each of these are ways of avoiding facing the fact that the cheater made the decision to cheat.
These other ‘reasons’ for cheating take away responsibility. They take away accountability from you and them. Instead of holding the cheater accountable for their bad choice, they blame hormone levels, snoring or something else.
When it comes time for healing, you need accountability. Recovery from infidelity requires adult levels of responsibility. Choices were made, people were hurt, promises broken and now someone has to step up and end the cycle of craziness.
When no one takes responsibility, the situation turns into a blaming game where the cheater puts distance between their failure and their fragile self-image. They assume that keeping that distance will reduce the pain and damage.
Healing requires reducing that distance along with rejecting the flimsy excuses behind what they did. Admitting what they did starts the recovery process.
Getting them to admit what they did without the flimsy excuses is frustrating. Although it’s frustrating, there are ways of making it less frustrating. There are techniques of confronting without fighting each other.
In the video, “Let’s talk: Hurting People and Healing Questions” you can learn ways of confronting and moving the healing forward without the high drama and frustrations that come with doing it on your own.
Rather than taking another lap on the frustration carousel, click and download your copy today. The sooner you put the techniques into practice the sooner the two of you will move past the roadblocks.
Click and download today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
