Many people struggling with affairs strive to understand “why?”. They apply this to the reason for the affair, the reason it happened to them, the reason their spouse was involved.
In the search for such answers, the seeker is often looking for a quick-fix skeleton key that answers all. They want a quick one size fits all answer. If they find such an answer it is not likely the correct one.
Each relationship is different. The needs and dynamics of those relationships are different. Although there may be common patterns, the specific answers to such problems are not so simplistic.
One thing I can tell you about seeking answers in such a manner, the desire for quick fix answers is one of the factors contributing to the problem. The mentality of wanting to quickly get out of pain and avoid issues is the same kind of mentality that sets the stage for an affair in the first place.
To sum up what I am getting at:
1-One size fits all answers are never truly the answer. If it does answer things, you are not asking the right questions.
2. The desire for quick-fix solutions is in itself part of the dynamics that created an affair-prone situation.
Best Regards,
Jeff
