Yesterday I wrote concerning truth. What goes hand-in-hand with truth is acceptance. In dealing with the aftermath of an affair, once you tell yourself the truth about what is going on both inside you and with your partner you have to deal with acceptance. Acceptance is a full meal deal. You have to accept people for who they are. This includes their habits, proclivities, preferences, etc. Trying to accept them piecemeal or selectively does not work if you want to have a relationship with them. Selective acceptance may help keep the peace, but it does not allow relationship building. Selective acceptance actually creates distance within the relationship.
You have to accept you for who you are, accept them for who they are and accept what occurred for what it is. Often, in affair situations, the situation and people are modified, enhances and fantasized about. It is almost as if people often find themselves dealing with fantasies about themselves, the partner and the situation more often than the real thing.
Acceptance means a warts and all approach to who and what you are dealing with. Once you have accepted ‘what is’ then you have the basis for a relationship. I will follow up next on what needs to be done after acceptance.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
