You already know the many ways cheating changed your life and marriage. When going through those times you wonder “Will life and my marriage ever get back to normal?”
Although it sounds harsh, the plain truth is it will never get back to the way it was before. So if your definition of ‘normal’ is getting back to the way it was, you’re in for a disappointment. If you are willing to let go of how it used to be, then the answer is YES. Yes, life will get back to normal. And what’s more, your marriage will be even better than before your cheater cheated.
What can be done is create a new normal. The old ways no longer work for them.
The likelihood that your life and marriage will recover is actually pretty good based on the number of couples who make it through affairs. a majority of couples managed to salvage their lives and marriages.
You may even wonder how they did it along with what’s different.
Although their marriages are not what they once were, they’re different. In many cases, the affair was a wake-up call. Their marriage relationship needed changes. The crisis of the affair gave them the motivation for making those changes.
Some couples wouldn’t have made changes until they were hurting bad enough to start making changes. Human nature puts off making changes until there’s a crisis, even in relationships.
That’s why it’s important to be aware of the warning signs in your relationship.
They changed the way they talk to each other along with what they talk about. The affair still hurts them, yet they managed to grow closer by solving the problems together. What they couldn’t solve, they learned better ways of living with.
What’s more important is that they learned better ways of living with each other. Going outside of marriage is no longer an option. They focus on the future they can share together rather than obsessing over what they lost.
They don’t spend time thinking about “what ifs” or “if onlys”. Those things won’t help them, so they focus on what’s ahead not behind.
And that makes all the difference in how life and marriage get back to normal
Forgiveness was part of the healing process. They realized that holding onto resentments and grudges wasn’t getting them anywhere. If anything holding onto the hurts created distance between them.
They also realized how important their marriage is to them. They learned new ways of trusting and put down a new foundation in their marriage.
When you decide you’ve had enough of the hurt and want change, a good place to start is with forgiveness. In the video “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the Walls and Remove the Roadblocks”, I share with you techniques for putting the hurts behind you.
It could be that your ideas about forgiveness are interfering with you forgiving. You think you already know what to do, you just haven’t done it yet.
This is the day you can change that. Click and download the video today and within minutes you’ll be changing the direction things are headed.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
