When a reader expressed shocked concern that his wife went off with another man at a swinger’s party, I experienced mixed reactions. I was saddened by his wife’s going off with someone else, and I was also saddened by a husband taking his wife to a swinger’s party.
Another part of me wondered, “What did you expect?” Things like that happen at swinger parties. He acted surprised when swinging actually happened, which left me wondering what he was expecting.
If you take your wife to a swinger’s party and she ends up sleeping with someone else, it shouldn’t come as a surprise.
This is one of the dangers of swinging. Each person you or your spouse are with can potentially diminish your bond with your spouse. At that moment, it’s no longer fun and games.
In real life, you lose control when you step through the party door. Stepping through that door permits things to happen. This is one of the risks that goes with ‘the lifestyle’.
Swinging changes your marriage. It changes your relationship. It changes you. It brings changes you didn’t plan on.
Those unexpected changes include developing feelings you didn’t plan on. I hear a common complaint about spouses sneaking behind their partner’s backs to foster unapproved relationships.
Relationships don’t stay in boxes. They grow and change, including swinger relationships, and they have ways of growing larger than you ever expected.
When you factor in the jealousy, insecurity, and fear that comes with the territory, swinging is more trouble than it’s worth. It’s not for everyone. It takes a very special type of person to handle the challenges that come with it.
When your situation becomes unmanageable and out of control, you need to change your approach. In the video “Overcoming Relationship Trauma for Swingers,” I discuss ways of reducing and getting out of the relationship messes that swinging brings into your life.
Getting out is tougher than getting in. The road to recovery starts when you start getting healthy in your marriage again.
Click and download your copy of the video today. Your marriage and your health depend on it.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
