There were times while in school I wondered if I’d ever use things like statistics outside of academia. Although I had questions like that at one time, these days, I find myself using things like statistics and algebra on a regular basis.
Even when it comes to affairs, I use statistical methods in making sense of things. They’re a handy tool in objectively dealing with difficult and sensitive matters.
Take for instance a reader who asked, “Is it possible for the man you had an affair with end up choosing you?” The simple answer is “yes”.
It’s possible for cheaters to end up with their lovers. Since I don’t know her motivation, I’m not sure what her desired outcome is. Some lovers just want something to hope in. They want the ‘possibility’ of being chosen. There’s no guarantee that he’ll choose her, but the possibility exists. She can use statistical methods to calculate the odds if she wants a more concrete answer.
The better question is whether it’s likely that he’ll choose you. Statistically, the cheater ends up with the lover in about 10% of the time. That’s a 1 in 10 chance of it happening. Those aren’t very good odds, although some people have risked more for worse odds in weekly lottery drawings.
I know I wouldn’t fly an airplane that only had a 10% chance of arriving safely, nor would I want a home where the electricity only worked 10% of the time. That would make it undependable and risky.
I also know that some lover are so desperate that even a small chance gives them HOPE, especially the love addicts. They take their 10% chance and embellish it with romantic fantasies. The greater the risk for them, the greater the rush. It’s an adrenaline thing. Some lovers choose to take the risk because they’re unhappy in their current relationship and they want something different. They want the chance, no matter how small, that they’ll be happier with their lover. Keep in mind that even if he does choose her, there’s no guarantee that it will last.
They get so caught up in their addiction, they can’t see straight or realize that the numbers are against them. The power of their fantasies is so strong they ignore the numbers. They also need help.
Affairs are not a healthy foundation for any relationship. When your foundation is unhealthy, any marriage built on it will be unhealthy as well.
This is where the video “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery” can help. It can help both cheaters and lovers start getting healthy in their thinking and their relationships.
You want a relationship where someone chooses you for being who you are rather than whether you put out, have money or for convenience sake. In general, healthy marriages don’t start off as affairs.
If you had an affair with him, your relationship is already tainted.
Make yourself healthier and then find healthier relationships.
Click and download the video today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
