It was during a low period in Texas Tejano singer, Freddy Fender’s life that he took his song “Lonely Days and Lonely Nights” and rewrote it. At that point, he was separated from his wife, unable to pay rent and feeling helpless about his down-and-out situation in South Texas. His marriage was in trouble, he was in a bad place and didn’t know where to go next.
When your marriage is in trouble, you start re-evaluating yourself, how you do things and the marriage itself. Freddy began taking a new look at what was going on.
The separation made him take a hard look at many things, including his song. His rewrite of the song changed the title to “Wasted Days and Wasted Nights”.
The song went on to become a country music classic. He managed to capture the struggle many people go through. The song has enjoyed extended life with other performers doing cover recordings of it.
Songs about struggle and suffering have a longevity that outlasts many other types of songs. They can offer hope to the listener that things will eventually get better. They are songs of survival, of overcoming against all odds.
This is what makes “Wasted Days and Wasted Nights” such a memorable song, even though it was written during a low point in Freddy Fender’s life. Then there is the modern version of that type of song in Morgan Wallen’s ‘Wasted on you‘. It’s a reminder that suffering continues and the sense of wasted time on people continues.
I was reminded of Freddy Fender’s story when a reader wrote looking for answers concerning her struggle over “when you waste many years married after learning of his long-term affair.”
Long-term affairs mean your marriage is in trouble. Making the affair mean that those years and experiences are ‘wasted’ amounts to throwing out the baby with the bath water.
When you write them off as wasted, it starts the process of giving up on your marriage. People don’t just wake up one morning and make the decision to divorce. They begin giving up on things long before that moment.
Considering the time and emotion you invested as wasted sells both your spouse and yourself short. They may have lived a double-life, yet that doesn’t mean that they wasted their time with you.
It’s natural that you re-evaluate your marriage, what it means to you and what you want to do. That happens when you are hit with an affair crisis.
While in that crisis mode, everything is ‘up in the air’. You wonder what you can and can’t believe along with who and who not to trust. It’s a crazy time.
This is why I put together the video “Getting Past the Affair Crisis”. I want to help you and those like you who are in the middle of an affair crisis. You don’t have to stay there or end up making poor choices just because you’re in crisis mode’.
Click and download the video today. It guides you through those challenging days when you’re not sure you even want to get out of bed. It helps you know where to start in getting your life back.
When you are facing a marital crisis, it is important to remember that you are not alone. Many people have gone through similar situations and come out the other side. Freddy Fender’s story is a reminder of this.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
