Affairs are often painted by its proponents as being between “consenting adults”, or as “a victimless crime”. Those attempting to excuse affairs often find any excuse they can, from anthropology research regarding various primitive tribes, polls taken in Men’s/Women’s magazines to the questionable Kinsey research. What the research, polls, and observations fail to report is the effect on children. They also do not report how an affair impacts those surrounding the infidel and their family. The infidel is often so focused on self-gratification or the needs of the tempter/temptress they ignore the needs of their own family in the process. They may ask questions about “What about my needs?/desires/wants in order to mentally excuse their actions. Such questions only reveal the level of confusion they are experiencing. The act of infidelity begins a ripple effect that touches many more people than just the parties involved. It effects the abilitly of those around them to trust them. It sends the message that ‘selfishness’ is ok. It sends the message that your own gratification takes priority over reputation or honor.
I am still pondering which comes first, the making of excuses, that justify the ‘me first’ mentality or the affair. What is clear is that the two go hand in hand. If you or your spouse has the ‘me first’ mentality, danger is around the corner.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
