It is natural that when we are hurt, we want to hurt back. While in that state of hurt, we want to make others feel the pain that we feel. Although revenge is one outlet for that pain, it seldom delivers the joy that is desired. Yes revenge may leave you feeling like you have power, it may transfer the pain to another party or parties, but it does not solve problems. If your problems are solved through revenge, then healing the marriage was not your first concern.
One act of revenge often begins a series of attack and counter-attack moves that leaves a lot of emotionally wounded people surrounding you and your spouse. During the aftermath of an affair, you need support and encouragement. When all your friends, and acquaintances are emotionally wounded they are not available for you. If they disapprove of your actions, they will not be available either.
Although revenge and mayhem sound promising, they seldom deliver satisfaction. In the days when honor was a major concern for people, revenge often took the form of duels. Such actions have been illegal for many years for many reasons.
Before engaging in an act of revenge, consider what will it accomplish? If it does not bring healing or restitution, it is not the right solution.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
