In a survey of material related to affairs, I came across a population that routinely expressed difficulty dealing with affairs. This population is grown children who discover that one of their parents is having an affair. These episodes are often viewed as painful and heart wrenching. Although younger children seem to adjust with greater flexibility, the older children have a more difficult time with affairs, even though they can understand the circumstances better. There is difficulty in the child accepting the news and also with the infidel parent having to tell the child what they have done. The emotions they struggle with are associated with betrayal, and abandonment. This population is mentioned only briefly in the literature, even though for those that have experienced such pain, it was a major turning point in their lives. Although contemporary society often works toward justifying and excusing affairs, the lives of the children effected by such behavior remained scarred for many years afterwards.
If you have had an affair and have grown children, you may want to make sure that the relationship is intact. Oftentimes, the hurts are hidden and are rarely discussed in the open. They are very real and continue being a major influence.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
