One of the risks with sexual activity is pregnancy. This is part of the baggage that goes with affairs. Pregnancy related to an affair is a thorny issue. Resolution of such a thorny issue requires love, understanding and forgiveness.
When pregnancy occurs, it makes the affair situation even more challenging, especially when the child is of mixed races. Raising a child out of wedlock carries with it stigmas and rejection.
When the child is of mixed races, the situation, the ostracizing is amplified and multiplied. No matter how open minded you think society is, and what the advertisements say, there is a stigma and its a powerful one. A mixed race child will not feel a part of either race.
How do you deal with the situation? The strategies needed in dealing with it vary with the role each person has in the situation. I could do a series on what each of the parties need to do in those situations.
One common element is to recognize that despite the circumstances, the child has done nothing wrong. In the movie, Rob Roy, the hero’s wife is raped by a British soldier.
When she tells Rob Roy about her pregnancy, she looks for his counsel and direction. He replies “The child has done nothing wrong.” That scene from the movie sticks with me as a reminder of the innocence of the child. Keeping that in mind, hatred is not the answer.
The child born from the affair has done nothing wrong. It’s the cheater and the lover who made wrong choices. Once the child is born, a key question is which family is responsible for the child? Who will raise the child?
When these questions arise, they often distract from questions about the affair. Rather than ending the affair, the cheater may plunge head first under the assumption that they’re responsible.
In such situations, the cheater’s first responsibility is to their spouse and the family with that spouse. The lover’s child, although innocent is not their top priority.
If there is enough demand for specific strategies of coping with the pregnancy from a particular position, write a response to the post and I will follow up on that topic.
Best Regards,
Jeff
