Besides pain, confusion in the aftermath of an affair another major obstacle is overcoming the confusion. Confusion comes about when we loose our reference points. Much like a person feels lost in a new city until they obtain some reference points, the same process can occur in relationships. The answer is to re-establish ones reference points. You depended on your spouse as a reference point and saw the world in terms of them. When an affair erupts, you loose your ability to trust in them. With the loss of trust also comes the loss of an emotional reference point. The loss of that emotional reference point leads to confusion. The world you knew has changed. With that change is confusion. You can make it past that confusion. Making it past the confusion will mean you need a new reference point to orient yourself from.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
