Affairs have a way of distorting behavior. They distort behaviors and the meaning of behaviors. The distortion is so great that you can hardly recognize many behaviors for what they originally were. Flirting is one of those behaviors. Many men and women have a way of interacting with members of the opposite sex that outsiders would consider flirting. It is their usual way of interacting with others. They do not intend to seduce or make anything happen. They just want to enjoy the interaction and make a few people smile.
When the marriage is on a rocky foundation, such behavior becomes threatening. When the marriage is not secure any attention that members of the opposite sex receive is seen as attention that is not being devoted to your spouse. If you are a flirt, or enjoy flirting, make sure that your spouse is receiving your undivided attention. When there is a history of affairs in the past of either spouse, such behaviors are often taken out of context.
I wish I could provide a hard and fast rule on flirting, but it is not possible since all behavior needs to be looked at in the context of the relationships people are in. What is not threatening for one couple is threatening for another based on the context of their situation and insecurities. So in response to the question of “Is flirting a threat?”, it all depends on the relationship and its emotional health.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
